To Be Seen and Not Fixed

by bill pautler

November 2024

I was returning home from a long urban bicycle ride, it was almost sunset as I rolled into one of my favorite spots on the trail.   A gorgeous round marble table with six stainless-steel high-backed chairs fixed around it    Out of the middle of the table is a stainless-steel sculpture growing toward the sky.   The beveled marble is five inches thick, five feet in diameter and is pearl, alabaster and green in color.      

As I park my bike and take a seat at the table I see Alicia walking out of the shadows.   I stand as she approaches and give her a huge hug.   Alicia is one of my street friends, her husband Nate and I have been friends for years.   I remember the day she showed me her wedding ring and her marriage certificate.  Her joy was uncontainable, but this was not one of those days.

Nate had been in jail for a week, Alicia hadn’t seen him, she had no money, no food and no protection from the other characters on the streets.  Her home was a small tent under the bridge.   As I held my small statured, smelly, dirty friend she started to sob.

We sat at the gorgeous marble table as the sun set and Alicia sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.  Barely catching her breath,  she tells me how much she misses Nate.  

In those thirty minutes of her tearful sobbing, her experience emanated the deep beauty of longing we all have for another soul to love us.    I held her hand and offered just a few words of encouragement, but all Alicia really needed from me was to be seen.  She needed another soul to see her grief and to see her love.   To acknowledge her experience.

As spiritual travelers on this adventure, we often want to rush in and fix things.  But all any of us truly need, is to be seen.    Yes, Nate got out of jail today and I didn’t let Alicia starve.

But in seeing people, deeply seeing people, we are also deeply seen.   What we give away is what we gain.   

We should all freshen our minds, by re-minding ourselves that fixing is helpful, but truly seeing another is where agape love starts.   

Let’s put away our distractions and our judgments.  Let’s look into each other’s eyes and acknowledge the sadness and the glory of the embodied spirit across from us.      

Deep seeing is deep loving.

Namaste: May the Divine in me, honor the Divine in you.   

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