Beginning My 40 Day Trip into the Desert
— Alan Watts
There is
something sacred about Lent. 40 days of
putting ourselves in the desert. 40
days of creating a different space. 40
days of retreating from the world. I
started retreating from the world last night.
I usually start on Ash Wednesday, the day after Fat Tuesday, but I was
waiting on something to unfold. I
always end my Lenten retreat (when I do them, which is not every year) on Good
Friday. Good Friday in the Christian
church is the day when Christians mourn and reflect on the crucifixion, suffering
and death of Jesus. In some way, I
have always loved Good Friday more than Easter. For me it’s a quiet day of reflection. To stop and think that a Spirit of God, would
choose to incarnate themselves into one of these physical bodies and then spend
their lives trying to show us how to love purely. And in the end, to be spat on, belittled,
tortured and crucified for trying to enlighten us. Very very sad.
Honest
revolution is never easy.
I have
experienced how belittling it is to be spat on. For years I helped someone who was very
close to me, with issues they had in their life. My good friend Frog and I
picked this person up, and after a grueling 2-hour car trip had got them to the
airport. Frog was going to accompany my person
on the flight. I was standing there
watching them both as they were about ready to board the plane. My person
turned and walked about 40 feet over to where I was standing. They stopped about two feet from me, looked
me straight in the eyes and spat on my face.
I felt the spittle run down my face as my eyes welled up. It was the most humiliating, belittling
moment of my life. I cried for hours
after that. The good thing is, this
person and I are now very close, and both of us have matured into reasonably well-functioning
people. At least I think they have,
jury is still out on me. :)
Back to Lent
and Good Friday. So, as I started my
Lenten retreat last night, four days after Ash Wednesday, knowing I was going
to end my Lent on Good Friday, I wondered to myself how many days it would
be. So, I counted them. It was exactly 40 days; I thought it would be
like 37 since I had started late. But
it was exactly 40. It was no coincidence
that I had waited for something to unfold, and that unfolding had led me to
exactly a 40 day retreat.
In the Bible 40 days represents a time of trial, repentance, self-examination,
or escape from bondage. In Buddhism 40
represents a period of transformation and profound internal change. In Sikhism
at age 40 a person transitions from one level of wisdom to the next.
So those are kind of my goals for the next 40 days. To examine myself, to be remorseful over the
ways in which I have not acted with love.
Every decision we make either promotes love or steals love. To escape from my own internal bondage, my
false beliefs about myself and life. To
transform myself. Trans means to go
beyond. To go beyond our perception of
our small selves. To go beyond our current
form. To transition. Transition is the process of changing our
form. Transition from a caterpillar to
a butterfly. Through self-examination, to
transition to a new level of wisdom.
All the great prophets and seers observed sacred quiet
time. Jesus would preach to the people
and then retreat to the hills. Buddha
sat under the fig tree for 49 days. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27
years. Eckart Tolle drifted for 2 years
staying with friends and sitting on park benches. Thoreau retreated to Walden Pond for years
‘to live deliberately”. A person’s
essence always proceeds their actions and their words.
I haven’t decided exactly what I am doing in the physical
world to honor this 40 days. I will
probably fast some from food, electronics and busyness. No hard fast rules, because then we start to
shame or judge ourselves. But primarily create some more quiet space. Slow my actions, slow my words, slow my
thoughts. And just be cognizant of the
sacredness of life. We chose this
experience, why don’t we enjoy it more?
Enjoy in the sense of deep, peaceful joy. Being content and quiet with who we are
and what is in front of us.
Death is all around us.
Death of our bodies as we grow older, the physical death of our friends
and family, death of our outdated perspectives of life. The solitude reminds us
that death of anything is just a transition to a new state of being.
This morning I was having a conversation with a dear friend when they
reminded me that I had just saged my beach rental last week. I thought why not sage my apartment again to
start my 40 days. So, I saged my
apartment. Laugh out Loud, it was thick
with smoke as I got done. But as I saged
and went thru each space, I gave thanks and prayed goodness for my family and
friends as I came across the pictures and mementos I keep. Thankful for the mystery and beauty of
water. For shelter, for my plants and
nature. For books and learning. For my bicycle and transportation. For clothes to protect me. For music to soothe and inspire me. For a safe place to lay my head at night. For all the lives that have created all the
things I enjoy. For all the lives that
have shared their lives with me and uplifted me either thru ease or friction.
Just hanging in that deep place of gratitude.
When I got done saging, I said to myself. Why don’t you sage yourself and I did. Then in remembrance of Ash Wednesday, I took the sage ash and ashed my forehead and my palms. My self-examination and my actions.
Remembering that our bodies come from the ash of Mother Earth
and that our bodies will return to Mother Earth. For dust we are and to dust we will return.
But our Spirits are eternal.
So, while we are here, on this planet, in this life, let’s
remember that we are eternal beings.
Not here to make money, not here just for pleasure. But here to create. Create in love. No matter what is happening in the world
around us, we are responsible to create a peaceful, joyous loving space in our
heart that we can carry everywhere we go.
When we can do that, that is true enlightenment. All else is just the dross left from our
refinement.
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Be mindful, aware and enjoy our
journey ……. Live a SageLife
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Namaste, the Divine in me honors the Divine in you!
Much love bill
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