April 16, 2025
Bill Pautler
Story
# 17
My Awakening
I have had
many spiritual advisors over the past 25 years. In my early days they were primarily priests
or monks. Each one took me a little
further down the path. As far as their
spirituality could take me at the time.
I was between advisors and I was looking for a different type of
guidance, that I couldn’t explain and didn’t know existed. And through a random ‘coinkydink’ (there are
no coinkydink’s, there is just the unfolding of Perfection that we don’t
understand) a beautiful, plain clothed, non-religious person came into my
life. They weren’t officially ‘a
spiritual advisor’, they came in as more of a life coach. But they started asking me questions and
challenging my choices in a soft way.
They began to change the narrative.
As a businessperson I wanted to quantify their services. When I asked how much I would pay them, they
said, “pay me what you want to pay me” and “we will get to that later”. These and other small things started to
loosen my tight grip on my reality.
Little did I
know at the time (and I still know very little), but they had come to awaken
me. I am not positive they exactly knew
what they were doing either. It was a
shift. I started changing some of my
actions, I started to release some of my myopic views. They caused me to question things in my life
that I assumed were real, but they weren’t real. These things were just my clouded outdated
belief systems that I had adopted from being in this world.
And then it
happened. I was sitting in a café having
coffee with them and I noticed my hands were starting to tremble. I could feel an intense energy starting to
rise up and course through my body. As
I looked up, they had 2 inch flames shooting from their pupils. And then I looked around the café and
everyone else did also. They didn’t
understand what was happening and to this day I have no idea if they have
personally ever experienced what I experienced.
Not only was
I seeing flaming eyes, but my trembling hands were a result of this massive
surge of energy coursing through my body.
In these moments, I was an active participant in this world, but at the
same time it was like I was observing it from a few steps back.
When it is said
‘to have peace that surpasses all understanding’, this was my state of
consciousness. A deep untroubled
peace. Everything was perfect, just as
it was. Everything was playing out as
it was supposed to.
And this was
probably the craziest part (if flaming eyeballs aren’t enough), I was madly in
love with every single person in that café.
And every single person I came in contact with. My enthusiasm for life, love, joy, and peace
was indescribable.
This state
lasted for about 30 days. And thank
Godness, it very slowly dissipated over the course of the 30 days. It sounds beautiful and it was unbelievably
beautiful, but it was exhausting.
I was eating
very little, I couldn’t sleep more than about 4 hours a night. And the energy continued to surge through
me. And I continued a normal lifestyle,
I had a business to run, I had a wife and children and all the things that we
‘have’.
I went to a
therapist friend and asked them what to do, they had no idea what I was going through,
but they told me to ground. I didn’t
know what grounding was at the time.
But I started grounding. That
helped ease the intenseness.
I was in a
state of profound overwhelming bliss.
And when I tried to rationally label what was happening, I thought I was
going crazy, but I knew I wasn’t.
This state
has reappeared in my life 3 or 4 other times, but only lasting for short
periods, like fifteen to thirty minutes.
When I was
doing some spiritual reading months later, I came across a description of a
Kundalini experience, which I had never heard of before. And that description is exactly what I had experienced.
Here are
my takeaways:
That the
eyes are truly the window to the soul.
That this
surge of energy burned off much of the dross in me and that this state of
perfection is unsustainable in these bodies.
That the eminent
power of God is a space of deep deep love, that is lacking in judgement and
allows freewill, is blissful beyond words, is powerful beyond words and it is our
natural state.
That
miracles like this are not shared with others for our worldly glory but to
cleanse us and be an invitation to all of us to begin to recognize our true
nature. The nature of God.
That we
should look at this world for the construct that it is, a temporary place to
deepen and explore our Divinity.
There are no
coinkydinks, everything is happening for a purpose, the good and the bad.
There is no
need for fear, everything is unfolding in perfect timing and perfect beauty. It is all happening for us, not to us. We just need to stop resisting.
And like it
says in the Bible; we should put our hands to the plow and not look back. Always stepping toward Godness with every
ounce of focus and energy that we have.
Everything else is just the dross.
And that if
we truly understood the incredible strength and power of God loves, we would
understand God’s deep abiding love for each and everyone of us. A
love that God wants us to step into with reckless abandon.
And when
Jesus said the Kingdom of God is at hand, that doesn’t mean some perfect gold cobbled
heaven we go to at death, it is the heaven that we create in ourselves, that we
carry throughout all of eternity.
Much much
love as we move to Good Friday, which is simultaneously thee most solemn and
glory-filled day of the year for me.
If this story in anyway resonates or inspires you, shoot me a
question or signup to receive my weekly story.
Questions: www.awakeningtoourselves.com/contact/
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Namaste, the Divine in me honors the Divine in you!
Bill
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