My Purification Ride
"But that is our job,
as we bring ourselves into mastery of the deep God given powers that have been
given us. That is our job here, on
this earth, in this realm, in this simulation.
In this dense energy, where things are hard and slow. It is our calling to acknowledge our
inherent powers. To be able to bring our
powers in balance."
May
11, 2025
Story
# 23
Bill
Pautler
“We
all come here with a perfect blueprint, with a memory of perfection…..Negative
energy of any kind covers over this energy of perfection……...and slowly
obscures the truth of our Be-ing”
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
Karol
K Truman
Yesterday I awoke to the dark blue ceiling of clouds and the
consistency of hours of gentle rain and strong to moderate winds. I love these
types of days. My interface with existence started with an hour and a half
monthly call with my brother and sister. Stories, catching up and gigging each
other about childhood eating rules and my sister’s distaste for canned peas,
which were regularly served. The type of stories that are only known inside the
intimate shared experience of sibling childhood.
I have been energetically and emotionally working on my need
to please others at the expense of myself. A behavior I trained myself to do to
keep the peace. I have been trying to identify why and how that happened. And
in writing this, right this very minute, I think I have found my answer. But
that is intimate and doesn’t need to be shared because it involves others. But
as we work through our stuff, you will find your own knowings and you will know
that some things are better kept silent or shared with the trusted few. Our
pearls should be shared in the right contextual nature and for healing. Not all
are ready to hear.
Then, I got a phone call from a friend confirming some plans
we had for the day. I didn’t want to follow through with our plans. As I hung
up the phone (lol we really don’t hang phones up anymore do we?) I felt
nauseous, I went to my 16th floor west facing window, opened it all
the way up, hung my head out into the rain and breathed deeply. I started
gagging and coughing up this white goo. I was expelling my energetic stuck unneeded
false belief. The belief that it was my job to keep the peace at all costs. That
by holding that space and losing my voice I could fix the sadness and pain of
others. But that is the stuck energy and false belief system I had embodied. Two
more rounds of gagging and throwing up goo, in the bathroom and at the kitchen
sink. And then I felt better, exhausted but better.
I love the cleansing feeling of rain, the purification. So,
I put my swimming suit on, which is just a pair of cut-off shorts. (Those
shorts are a quick drying nylon-ish type of material. I only wear them for
working out and swimming. All other cloth that touches my body is cotton, linen
or wool. The energy of artificial cloth touching my body has been off putting
to me since childhood. It in some way disrupts my energetic field.) I hopped on
my bike, no shirt, no wallet, no music, just stripped to the core and went for
a ride in the rain. It was cold and windy, but the purification of the elements
on my body was healing.
I rode to Railroad Park, just two block from my house.
You can see the large silver awning in the lower left of
this picture. The brick floored expanse on the left, the ponds on the right and
the railroad tracks horizontal across the bottom.
I laid my bike down under the awing and sat cross legged in
my guru position facing the pond. I watched as the raindrops hit the pond
surface, each drop exploding. The drops leaving the water cloud and coming back
to themselves in the pond. The wind blowing the tree leaves. Exposing portions
of the underside of the leaves which are a lighter shade of green. The dark
green that faces the sky, the light green that is the protected underbelly. The
contrast. The Yin and the Yang. The feminine Yin in is us that desires peace
and the masculine Yang in us that knows we have to face the discord of this
realm. The intuitive water creator preserver and the fire warrior destructor.
I have too long hidden my powerful destructor nature. I am
acknowledging that now. I have swung from the peacekeeper to warrior. My powers
are not in balance yet. Often the pendulum has to swing further to the other
side and deeply experience the opposite before it can come back into balance.
But that is our job, as we bring ourselves into mastery of
the deep God given powers that have been given us. That is our job here, on this earth, in this
realm, in this simulation. In this dense energy, where things are hard and
slow. It is our calling to acknowledge our inherent powers. To be able to bring
our powers in balance. To be able to learn when it is time to burn something
down. When it is time to cut through something with our sword. When it is time
to nurture and embrace. When it is time to birth creation out of our dark,
sensitive energy.
Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum…….If you want peace, prepare for
war.
Much love to you all. You all have no idea how much I
appreciate you reading this.
Live a SageLife. Be a SAGE.
SAGE…Spiritual…Awareness…Growth…and Enlightenment
Bill
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